Dealing with Ongoing Quarantine
The experience of quarantine has varied greatly among adolescents. For some it has been an annoying disruption to their routines often resulting in forced family time. In contrast, others are confronting profound trauma like the illness or death of a loved one(s) and/or economic hardship, including hunger and homelessness. It is important that individuals recognize the full extent of what they are feeling, whether that is anger, anxiety, disappointment, fear, frustration, isolation, a lack of control, loss or sadness, in order to understand and accept their emotions.
Not only can the pandemic worsen symptoms of existing mental health issues, it also can catalyze anxiety, depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc., in individuals with preexisting risk factors for those conditions. Parents and adults should check-in regularly with the young people in their lives by asking, “How are you feeling?” and “What can I do to help?”, and be truthful about what they do and do not know about COVID-19 and what they expect will happen in the foreseeable future.
Everyone can benefit from taking a rational approach, accepting the current uncertainty as best he or she can and avoiding catastrophic thinking. Encourage teens to focus on what is controllable. like the number of hours they sleep or what they eat. Creating and maintaining routines will provide much needed predictability, including establishing a time during the day to discuss any worries. (Do not do so immediately before bed, when you should have positive conversations with youth, such as their favorite memories, things they like or what they plan to do tomorrow.)
Practice setting boundaries, even though it may be uncomfortable. If friends or family members do not share the same level of caution about social distancing or wearing masks, let them know that you will not be able to see one another in person until the risk of infection has lessened or passed. If parents find themselves overwhelmed by their children’s questions or requests, they can explain that they need to finish their work, eat or relax for a few minutes before responding. Be honest if you are tired or struggling. Many prior sources of personal time, including being at home alone, commuting or shopping in stores, currently are unavailable so it is necessary for adults and teens to find moments and spaces to recharge.
Discussing your family’s approach to reopening can help adolescents feel better prepared and increase the chances that they will make wise choices when that time arrives. Maintain open lines of communication and try to be empathetic even if their concerns (such as “I look stupid in a mask.”) seem foolish or trivial. Agreeing that “It is unfair and boring.” while adding “That is what we need to do right now to keep everyone safe, however.” can provide validation and help teens be more accepting of rules and requirements. Rather than focusing on worst-case scenarios from the news, which likely will have little impact, explain that the pandemic is affecting everyone, they have a role to play and you believe they are up to the challenge of complying with the temporary restrictions.
If your child appears to have misinformation, find out what he or she has been reading or watching and make sure that his or her “facts” come from a trustworthy source, like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Public Radio or the World Health Organization, and not just TikTok. Measure 6 feet of distance, which is farther than most people think, and practice staying that far away from one another; and brainstorm a list of outdoor places where adolescents can safely get together with peers. Allow your teens to pick their own masks, which they will be more likely to wear, and tell them that it is okay to use you as an excuse for deflecting peer pressure to disregard pandemic rules by simply saying, “I can’t, my Mom (or Dad) is really strict.”
When getting together in person is not possible, have teens “see” classmates through Google hangouts, Zoom gatherings or virtual movie nights with Netflix Party. Individuals of all ages should employ social media as a source of positivity through which they can find humor and inspiration and connect with friends and family. When youth have missed an entire sports season(s) or major competitions, parents and guardians can help them develop a training/practice plan that maintains their fitness levels, continues skills development, builds strength and flexibility, and improves any areas of weakness.
Lasting changes in appetite, mood or sleep; continuously ruminating over the same thoughts; or withdrawing from others can be a sign that you should seek professional help for yourself or your child. Mental Health America of Virginia has a COVID Support Warm Line [877-349-MHAV (6428)] for individuals struggling with distress, grief or trauma caused by the pandemic, which provides emotional support and coping strategies and connects callers with community resources Monday through Friday from 9:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. and Saturday and Sunday from 5:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Right now is a time to focus on making sure family members are safe and having their basic needs met. Celebrate small daily victories, like everyone getting dressed or showering, completing most of your work or going on a walk together, etc.