Recovering From Trauma

Trauma is the result of negative incidents that cause distress, such as dramatic changes in a person’s family or living situation; long-term neglect in childhood; experiencing or witnessing physical, sexual or verbal abuse; and surviving a natural disaster, car accident or plane crash. It can be chronic or event specific. Individuals who suffer trauma often feel vulnerable, as if they are not in control of what occurred or may be continuing to happen to them, and that the world is an unsafe place. Trauma can contribute to mental illness and substance abuse disorders throughout one’s lifetime.

The physical symptoms that accompany trauma include aches and pains; agitation or anger; difficulty concentrating and/or sustaining motivation; feeling disconnected or numb; flashbacks; muscle tension; an exaggerated startle response to sudden, unexpected movements, noises or touch; sleep disturbances; constantly being tense or “on guard”; and withdrawing from activities and people. Those who have experienced trauma often feel anxious, depressed and ashamed, along with overwhelming or a complete absence of emotion(s). They can find it difficult to trust and establish relationships with others and to recognize when they are in dangerous situations.

If you have suffered a trauma and are momentarily happy or temporarily forget what happened, you should not feel guilty. Grief is unpredictable and if you lost a loved one, he or she would not want you to feel sad forever. Participate in low key activities and seek out caring relatives and friends, who can understand how you are feeling. Try writing a letter to the individual who died, which will give you permission to express your emotions, or tell an individual who cares about you, “I have been thinking about my Dad. Can I talk to you about him?” A true friend will answer, “Yes.” Be open to changes in family traditions in order to form new ones, which can provide hope for the future and something to look forward to, and let go of “shoulds,” which can create additional pressure.

If you know someone who has experienced trauma, try to establish a sense of safety and stability and serve as a dependable source of optimism for him or her. Be a good listener, but do not ask about details regarding the trauma. Safe questions include, “Have you ever talked about this with anyone?” and “How has this affected you?” Encourage him or her to engage in self-care by eating healthily, exercising and getting enough sleep. Seek professional help if trauma related symptoms negatively affect the individual’s behavior, daily living and/or school performance. (Within Fairfax County Public Schools, School Psychology Services and School Social Work Services can provide assistance.)

Individuals can have a wide range of mental and physical reactions to trauma. It is important for them to recognize symptoms, know they are not alone and obtain treatment and support. Finally, those who have experienced trauma should allow themselves time to heal and mourn the losses they have experienced.