Supporting Someone Whose Child Has a Mental Health Condition
In an area filled with high achieving students, parents and school systems, people can sometimes overlook the challenges faced by families in which a child has a mental health condition. Acquaintances often respond negatively or dismissively when someone discloses that his or her son or daughter has been diagnosed with a mental health issue. In reality, there are many things you can do to support these families, whether you are an adult or a teenage peer.
Mental health disorders are physical illnesses, just like asthma or diabetes. While there are many effective treatments, they can last a lifetime. Even if an individual is better today, the future is not certain. Sensitivity is key in supporting someone whose child has a mental health condition. Be discreet about the individual’s struggles and do not share the details with anyone else. Words can hurt and a great deal of stigma still exists surrounding mental health disorders. Please be careful about what you say. For example, it seems obvious, but joking about suicide is never funny, especially when the tragic loss of a classmate has affected so many teenagers in our area.
Checking in occasionally by text, telephone or E-Mail is incredibly helpful. Do not worry about knowing the right thing to say. “I’m available if you ever need to talk” is perfect. Show your support by expressing concern and sympathy.
Realize that the family’s goals may not be the same as yours and help them celebrate their milestones whatever they may be. Obtaining a first job or a driver’s license, graduating from high school, and attending college are not always a given for youth with mental health conditions. Listen. If the individual talks about his or her child’s struggles, do not change the subject.
Finally, please do not be judgmental. For example, putting a child on medication is rarely an easy choice. Know that if this happens, the family likely agonized over the decision after trying exercise, alternative therapies, and diet changes, etc. Resist the temptation to give advice. Instead, ask what you can do to help. Saying, “You are not alone in this. I’m here for you.” may be more beneficial than you could ever imagine!